Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
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Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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