i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
