if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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