Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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