Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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