At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
