Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
