So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
