dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Shame - the story of my life.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
