Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
