Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
what day is it and did you see me today?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
me + whiskey = a bad person
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize