This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
