Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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