What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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