it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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