Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
only if we run a train.
done.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
