My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Naked. naked and bneed help.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
