dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
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