Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
