how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
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Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
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I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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