Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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