He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Can I color on your dick again?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
