with your own penis?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
