just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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