We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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