On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
