there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
