Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
