But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
