Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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