I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
