i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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