So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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