Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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