I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
