I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize