So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
