how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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