Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize