Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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