I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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