just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
