I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
