So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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