you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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