i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
