Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
