Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
