She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
