Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
