i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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