it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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