Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
