id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
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All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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