It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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