i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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