We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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