where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
