Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
