I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
