Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
operation harelip BJ is a go
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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